


Confused (and hurt but too scared to cry)

by honeypotatoes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'll add more tags later, M/M, No Mercy era, Not yet established relationship, Pre-debut, Violence, but the romance is there, i made gunhee the bad guy here, the managers are present in the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:24:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeypotatoes/pseuds/honeypotatoes
Summary: When No. Mercy started, Changkyun was put in the show as a good entertainement source for the audience. He knew that he was going to be eliminated, and everybody else did too.So why is this happening to him...? Why?(Or where Changkyun finds himself stuck in a hole because he doesn't understand why Gunhee hates him and is too concerned for his hyungs to tell the truth to them.)





	1. The start of the ending

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: There is violence and assault in this story and this chapter. Reader's descretion is advised. 
> 
> I am also in no way of promoting such vilence, if something similar to this occurs in real life, please contact available resources.

When Changkyun didn't hear his name in the final list of debuted trainees, he was more relieved than sad. He didn’t really expect to win the show anyway. He bowed, said his comments on losing and went backstage.

Changkyun was a trainee who came to Starship after Special K Entertainment had went bankrupt. He trained under the label, and even went on a stage once with some other trainees, including Shownu! 

When No.Mercy started, he was contacted at the start, contrary to popular belief. He knew he was going to drop in half way and he knew he was only allowed to join for a good show. The other trainees were well informed of the situation too, so when Changkyun joined it was quite hard for them to feign surprise and anger when they knew it was only for theatrics. 

The cameras front stage stopped rolling, and the trainees filed backstage one by one. 

“Hey Changkyun!” Jooheon shouted gleefully, his fake anger for the camera slipping away.

Changkyun came up with a slight smile, even though he knew the outcome he still couldn’t help to be a little sad that he didn’t get to debut. He was pulled into a hug by the rapper, the air being squished out of his lungs. 

“Omph! Hyung!” 

“Cheer up! You’re still young, don’t worry too much!” Hoseok said beside Hyungwon, who nodded his head sleepily in agreement.   
  
Changkyun nodded to himself, he did still have time. The rest of the trainees were older than him and needed to debut, he still has more chances. 

“Well, I am younger than you guys! Old men!” Changkyun joked, making everyone laugh. 

Everyone was in a good mood until Gunhee’s voice popped up, “Honestly, even without you joining halfway, even if you joined at the start, you would’ve never won! Let’s be honest…” he chuckled.

The room grew silent. Changkyun lowered his head, his skin prickled with annoyance. 

Minhyuk was the first to react, he placed a comforting hand on Changkyun and tried to lighten the mood, “He’s just joking...Hm?”    
  
“Yeah.”

Kihyun shot a look at Gunhee who only shrugged his shoulders in a non-apologizing way.

Changkyun looked away, he sighed and left the room quickly only leaving a quick and quiet goodbye.   


After he left, Shownu looked at Gunhee blankly. “That was mean. Even for you, Gunhee,” he said without any emotion, however that seemed to make his words ever more intimidating. “I hope that anything similar does not happen. “

Without waiting for a reaction, the eldest left and brought the other trainees with him. Gunhee stood there alone, confused but mostly angry.

“It’s true that he isn’t better than me and he would’ve definitely lost. So why is what I said bad!” he growled underneath his breath with barely hidden rage. 

 

……

 

“Gunhee!” the manager stormed down the hallway, shouting his name. “#Gun!”

Jooheon and Minhyuk looked at each other in a practice studio. They stood up, and tentatively peeked their head out into the hallway. All they saw was one of their managers having the most frustrated and irritated face they’ve ever seen. This manager was strict, yes. But he was also a very nice and generally easy-going guy. So the surprise on the two boys faces’ were understandable.

“Hyung…?” Minhyuk started carefully. He opened the door fully and walked out towards the experated man. “What are you doing?”

The manager sighed, “I’m looking for Gunhee. Do you know where he is?” 

Minhyuk shook his head, he looked back to Jooheon, “Do you know, Jooheonie?”

“Gun? He went to the cafe across the street? He said he’s gonna buy some coffee.” 

“Thanks Jooheon-ah,” the man turned on his heels and jogged down.

Minhyuk and Jooheon looked at each other in confusion, but shrugged their shoulders and went back into the practicing studio. 

On the other side, the manager found Gunhee on his way back from the cafe. He glared and without a word pulled him forcefully back into the company building, ignoring Gunhee’s puzzled yelps. Once in the building, the manager didn’t waste any time and dragged the rapper to a room. To the boy’s surprise, all three managers and even the vice-director was there. They all had grim faces, especially the vice-director who also had his arms crossed. Gunhee quieted down, he was dense but could still tell that it was in his best interest not to say anything.

One of the managers, Hyunsik, spoke before he even sat down, “Gunhee… what were you thinking?”

“Huh?”

“Your posts! On a social networking forum!” Another manager started, “You are about to debut, you need to watch your words! Do you know that these posts could bring the entire group down?!” 

A laptop was shoved in Gunhee’s face, he read the page and there it was. The posts that he posted during and after the survival show. The small box of words consisted of a huge ego. 

The vice director who didn’t say a word during the entire time spoke up quietly, “Gunhee, you are talented. However, these sentences and words are not allowed at all. I don’t ever, ever want to hear something like this again!” The man left with a slam of the door.

The managers filed out of the room, Hyunsik turned around, “Think about your future, what will the company do if this goes on? And if not for your own future, think of the rest of the group, will you?”

Gunhee stared at the screen.

 

**_Lol, it was easy this round. I can’t believe how simple it was to win against…._ **

 

**_Can you even believe it, this kid, thinking he could win joining half way in…._ **

 

**_Honestly, I’m sick of this kid’s acts….._ **

 

**_He can’t even rap! His lyrics are shit! Don’t you see?! They’re…._ **

 

He was boiling in rage. How dare they control his right to speak! It was the truth! Why can’t he say what he wants? How dare they threaten him!

Fine. Fine!

 


	2. Ends and bbegins with darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : This chapter contains abusive scenes and violence, please procede with caution.

Changkyun grunted as his hand was slammed against the door in an awkward angle. He staggered up and tried to move towards the door, away from Gunhee. 

He had to find someone!

However, with an injured wrist and a bruised knee he didn’t get very far before Gunhee stopped in front of him. The wasn’t any expression on his face, he just stared at the small boy who looked at him wearily. 

“You won’t tell anyone about this you hear me?” a flat tone. 

Changkyun snorted, as if.

Gunhee slammed him up against a wall. The trainee coughed, his head spinning form the contact. When Changkyun regained his focus, the taller boy slammed him again. His head lolled back in pain. And the pattern was continued until Changkyun wasn’t making any sounds anymore.

“You, will not tell anyone. Did I make myself clear?” Gunhee repeated himself, a victorious grin on his face.

He released Changkyun, and walked out the door dusting the invisible dust off his shoulders.

The boy, crumpled to the ground, laid there with his eyes closed for a good half an hour. Just enough time for his bruises to darken and seep into his spirit.

……

The cycle continued, once Changkyun walked into his practice studio, he would be dragged away and left in an abandoned room until he could catch his breath and pull himself back up. Verbal curses, physical punches and kicks were thrown around without restraint. And of course, Gunhee’s favorite, slamming him against the wall until his back was purple with unhealed spots.

The older rapper was smart, wherever he got hurt, it was always invisible with his clothes on. Other than Changkyun looking tired with dark bags under his eyes, to the others, he seemed pretty normal. 

The boy didn’t know what got into him. Everytime he saw a member of the debuting line, he was so ready to just spill out everything. He even practiced in front of a mirror, #Gun is hitting me, #Gun is assaulting me, #Gun is a bad person. No matter how much he was prepared and ready, once he saw his hyung’s tired faces from practicing to debut, he could never tell them. He could never add on their stress, to make them deal with another matter. To make then even more tired than they are currently.

So he kept silent. And so, the cycle continued. 

He let himself become this ragdoll that was thrown around. Changkyun suffered, but he kept his bruises silent. He kept his phone that was spammed with hateful messages silent. And most importantly, kept himself silent. 

……

Changkyun’s tears had long dried up. He became more and more drawn to the safety of his private studio where no one knew existed. He pretty much lived there now, his small body barely fitting onto the even smaller couch when he tried to get some sleep when it was three in the morning. 

Of course Changkyun still went back to the dorm sometimes, to keep the others from worrying too much, since he is going to move out when the group debuts. He went back solely to smile back in return to Hyunwoo’s grin. He went back solely to let himself get a small ruffle and a gentle kiss on his forehead from Hoseok. He went back solely to taste Kihyun’s cooking and smile lopsidedly to the nagging. He went back solely to be crushed under a warm body which belonged to Minhyuk. He went back solely for Hyungwon’s sleepy hands grabbing him to be a makeshift pillow. And he went back solely to cuddle and play fight with Jooheon. 

He went back to the dorm in delibratetly chosen times. All to avoid Gunhee. 

He would check the older rapper’s schedule with different staff members as to not raise suspicion, he would pad carefully into the dorm, his heart thumping in his chest with nervousness and fear. And that fear would slowly dissipate when he knew that Gunhee was indeed not in the space and then he would allow himself to breath under the care of his hyungs for a short while. 

However, Gunhee would somehow still catch up on him. Changkyun didn’t understand how. Gunhee would just show up in his way and drag him off again and again. He was slowly disintegrating. He would lay in bed for the entire day, too blank to move. He would look at his music and feel no longer the drive and passion. He would walk so slow sometimes that he would just stop in the middle of the streets and stay there for an hour. He would have a blank and polite smile on the entire day, the upturn of lips never moving. He would talk so less that when he did, people commented on how deeper and coarser it sounded from usual. 

Changkyun was slowly disappearing and the person that was left behind was… just an empty shell. The goofy boy who made weird jokes, the gentle boy who made everyone warm in the chest, was disappearing. 

Not a lot of people noticed the change. The people who did however, shrugged their shoulders and went on minding their own business.

Changkyun stopped functioning after the numerous punches in the gut. To the point where he just left one night. 

And the sad thing is that nobody noticed until a few days later.

When it might already be too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back! 
> 
> Hopefully this was an enjoyable chapter! If you would like for me to write something as well no matter if it's part of this au or not, please do leave a comment! 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy the rest of your day (or night, whereever you are!) and I'll see you on the next update (which I'll try to to make it soon)!
> 
> Honeypotatoes


	3. Then the sky started crying

“Has anyone seen Changkyun lately?” Hoseok said as he chewed on a mouthful of rice, earning a swat from Kihyun, “I just haven’t seen him around, he would come over for food at least once a week right? It’s been a week now.” 

The clutter from the utensils didn’t stop, plates were still passed around and the faint clink of metal chopsticks sounded. 

“Hmm, someone maybe call him?” Hyunwoo started, “ We have more than enough food, ask him to join us for dinner.” 

“Yeah! His studio isn’t far away!” Jooheon chirped, making Kihyun smile. 

Minhyuk came back to the table after fetching an IPad, the chattering ensued as he tried to facetime the trainee. The first time, the connection didn’t connect. Minhyuk tried again, and again and again, without avail. The bubbly male grew silent, he shook his head, maybe Changkyun didn’t have wifi at the moment. 

“He won’t pick up.” Minhyuk said in a barely concealed, worried tone. 

“Maybe he doesn’t have wifi.” Kihyun said, having the exact same thought process.

Jooheon was a little alarmed at the small conversation. He looked at the clock, one in the afternoon. Changkyun should be in his studio at this time, why doesn’t he have wifi? The rapper laughed at himself, why am I so paranoid? Maybe the guy just went to the washroom or just went out to get some coffee. 

Hyunwoo hummed, “Call him a little later then, he might be busy.” 

Hyungwon nodded sleepily in agreement, his arms patted slowly on Jooheon’s back soothingly after he noticed that the rapper had a concerning expression. 

“Why is everyone so worried about the brat? He’s just a loser who came in half way and didn’t get to debut.” Gunhee said his first word in this conversation. His focus still on his food, as if his words wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

Silence. And suddenly a loud clunk. 

Gunhee looked up to Hoseok’s furious face, his chopsticks were slammed on the table, which made the loud noise. The rapper didn’t understand the anger, he narrowed his eyes. 

“I'm not wrong, even though we knew that he was put in the show halfway beforehand, he still is a loser. How dare he get a chance in the show when he only just came to the company two months before the show started? Even if there are lots more trainees better than him?” 

Kihyun placed a firm hand on Hyunwoo’s clenched fist, he shook his head slightly with a worried face. 

“Gunhee… What do you mean?” Jooheon said with an unbelievable face, he couldn't believe the malicious words were coming out of his friend's mouth. 

“I mean exactly what I said." 

Then the main vocal turned to the rapper who still continued to eat. He stared at him blankly, “Gunhee, I’d have to ask you to leave the table. Come with me.”

Then he stood up and dragged the rapper by his arm and they went into their bedroom. The rest of the members were silent, their appetite long disappeared. 

“I can’t believe Gunhee said that…” Jooheon was disappointed and shocked by his best friend, “Was I wrong about him the entire time?” 

Minhyuk stood up and put a hand on Jooheon’s shoulder, “No, it seems like we were all wrong about him…” 

Hyunwoo sighed and put his face in his hands, when did his dongsaeng become like this? Noticing his friend’s low spirits, Hoseok bumped shoulders with Hyunwoo, silently cheering him up together with Hyungwon who was rubbing his leader’s knuckles with his thumbs. 

Inside the bedroom, Kihyun was looking at Gunhee who was staring him back with an annoyed expression. Kihyun sighed.

“Why did you say that?” Kihyun just couldn’t be mad at his dongsaeng who he’d known for years. 

“It’s true! I don’t understand why everyone is mad at me!” Gunhee said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “He doesn’t deserve any kindness, why should he?! That brat who thinks he’s entitled to everything?! He’s such a moron, asking for attention. Crying in front of Jooheon?! What, think everyone’s gonna pity him with his baby tears? He even had the audacity to give that disgusting little speech at the end, saying how he was thankful for all the kindness, hah! He’s just a loser who couldn’t suck it up! ” 

Kihyun blanched, he wasn’t expected the malicious words coming out of Gunhee’s mouth. He knew the rapper was blunt with his words, but he didn’t know that Gunhee was this mean. 

“What do you mean, Gunhee-ah! Changkyun doesn’t think that way, he’s too nice and humble to, sometimes for his own good! He knows that he would be eliminated, and he knew that he was added just to make the show interesting! The show is a survival fight, yes, but it is still entertainment in the end! The higher-ups decided that he’s going to be entering half way just for the show! That’s no way to treat him!” Kihyun grew more frustrated with his words and he shook Gunhee by grabbing his shoulders, “We all knew that, we were explained it! Do you not remember?! Gunhee-ah!”

Gunhee exploded in rage, he stood up and towered over Kihyun who was still sitting down. Growling, he slammed Kihyun against the wall causing a massive noise, “Yoo Kihyun!” 

Kihyun groaned as his head came in contact with the hard surface. His vision swam, barely registering Gunhee’s harsh words, now not only directed to Changkyun but him as well. 

“What! Now everyone’s on his side, huh?! Even you, the high and mighty main vocal, you knew that you weren’t gonna be eliminated, so what right do you have to come and lecture me! Who knows, you probably slept your way in! With you not even being in the company for even a year!” 

Kihyun’s eyes teared up from the impact and the dizziness, but the Gunhee’s harsh words sent bullets straight to his heart. When he was about to sit up and reply, the door burst open. The smaller man looked towards the entrance and Hyunwoo was standing there. 

Kihyun watched as Hyunwoo forced his way in, looking at Gunhee with the blankest eyes Kihyun has ever seen. He rushed up but fell into Hyunwoo’s embrace due to the nausea, but he patted the tanned arms and breathed, “Hyung, don’t. It’s ok, Gunhee didn’t mean what he said. Calm down, this isn’t you… I’m ok…”

Hyunwoo took in Kihyun’s state. His eyes were glazed over, and his movements sluggish. When he touched the back of Kihyun’s head gingerly, he could feel the growing bump. He picked up the man who was on the verge of falling down in his arms, “Gunhee, I’m going to forgive you this time. But I want no violence nor comments in this house, do you understand?” 

The rapper made no comments but only rushed out the door, and by the large slam, they could tell that Gunhee went out. 

Hyunwoo carried Kihyun out to the living room, the rest of the boys crowded on him immediately. The leader placed him on the couch gently and kneeled in front of him. 

“Are you alright?” Hyunwoo said in a soft voice, holding both of Kihyun’s hands.

“I’m ok, just a little dizzy… Would you mind grabbing me an ice pack…?” 

Jooheon jumped up and went in the kitchen for Kihyun’s request.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital, Kihyunnie?” Hoseok lightly touched the wound on the side of Kihyun’s head. 

“I think I’ll be ok… Just need to rest a little…” Kihyun breathed.

Jooheon came back with a towel as well, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t find a proper one. But I filled up a plastic bad with some ice.” He wrapped the bag with the towel and gently pressed against it up against Kihyun’s head. 

The vocal sighed in relief, he leaned against Minhyuk who was propping him up and closed his eyes. Then Hoseok shooed the rest of the boys away to let their smallest member in statute rest. 

“Minhyuk-ah, would you mind looking after him? Tell me if something is wrong, then we’ll get him to the hospital.” Hyunwoo whispered, looking up.

Minhyuk nodded, “Of course, you go get some rest too. I’m also a little worried for Changkyun, try to find him with someone… Maybe Jooheon, he’s the closest with him.” 

Hyunwoo stood up, patted Kihyun’s hand and Minhyuk’s head. He turned and went to find Jooheon as Minhyuk suggested, he found him fiddling with his IPad.

“What are you doing?” Hyunwoo sat down beside him. 

“I’ve been trying to message him, but he hasn’t read it yet…” Jooheon looked at him with worried eyes, “Where could he be…?”

Hyunwoo rubbed his chin with his hand, “ Do you have any idea where he would be if he’s not in his studio?” 

“Well, he could be back at his parents house but that’s in Gwangju…” Jooheon looked up at Hyunwoo, they were silent for a second until he shouted out, “Oh! I know where he could be! Come with me! Come on!”

The younger jumped up and grabbed his jacket and pulled on his shoes. The two were out the door without delay and Jooheon started running with Hyunwoo close behind him. 

They stopped at a cafe that Hyunwoo couldn’t recognize. 

“Why are we here, Jooheon-ah?” 

“Changkyun, said, that, this is his favorite cafe. He comes here often to get coffee… He brought me here once.” 

Hyunwoo studied the place, it was fairly clean and tidy. Two stories tall and through the tall glass windows he could see many university students sipping coffee and working on their laptops. He could totally imagine Changkyun sitting at one of the booths with a cold iced americano, scrolling through his IPod or scribbling lyrics on his notebook. 

Jooheon walked in and with Hyunwoo they searched every nook and cranny from the first floor to the second floor, but Changkyun was nowhere to be found. They walked out with a sigh, Hyunwoo putting his hands on the side of his hips. 

Jooheon scrolled through his IPod and messaged Hoseok if Changkyun had returned, although he knew that was an almost impossible chance. The two waited for the reply anxiously, but with the words symbolizing that no, Changkyun hadn’t gone to the dorm, their shoulders sagged. 

The two members jogged through the neighborhood. One street after one street, hoping they would spot Changkyun somewhere. Walking in cafe after cafe, even going to the boy’s studio with hope that he would be there only to come out deprived of it. 

Jooheon was on the verge of tears when it was around sunset, they’ve been looking for the whole day already. 

“Hyung, where is he?! Where is he?!” 

“It’s ok, we’ll find him…” Hyunwoo pulled the younger into a hug, enveloping the other. He stroked the rapper’s back, feeling drops of water on his shoulder.

The two stood there, feeling helpless as the sky turned darker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooooo, I'm backkkkkkk  
> this was a quite a fast update, so i hope y'all are ok with that!  
> anyway, this is also a longer chapter so I hope this was enjoyable!!!!
> 
> I'll try to update soon, but I am kind of (really) stuck so yeah... no promises...  
> but, hope this was a good read and I wish everyone a great start of your day or a great night's sleep!!! 
> 
> Honeypotatoes


	4. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

“Gunhee is doing a live?”

“What?” Hoseok turned to Hyungwon who was scrolling through his IPad.

“Gunhee, he’s on live now.” 

“When did he get the company phone for that?” 

“Don’t know, should I check it out?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” Hoseok turned back to his cereal, shoving a spoonful into his mouth.

Hyungwon shrugged, tapping on his screen to enter in the live. He sat unmoving except for pressing the hearts once in a while. His attention was about the drift off until he heard the unexpected words. 

_ “Guys, can you believe the audacity!” _

The rapper on the small screen threw his hands in the air, a maniacal gleam in his eyes. Hyungwon’s eyebrows raised, giving his full attention.

_ “That loser, I.M, everybody remember him?” _

Then Gunhee leaned closer as if to read the comments. Hyungwon sat up straight, frown deepened. 

_ “Yeah, that guy. I can’t believe his sorry ass, escaping from me! I can’t even believe that the hyungs and even Jooheon stood on his side, when all I said was that the brat was a sore loser. Guess they don’t know how pathetic he is, hahaha! Especially when he bent down cowering in infront of me, I only gave him a few slaps...” _

Gunhee wasn’t even caring about the words that came out of his mouth. 

Hyungwon jumped up, startling Hoseok who then spilt the milk all over his shirt. 

“Wonnie! Look at what you did-” 

“Hyung, hurry get the company to cut off Gunhee’s live! Now!” Hyungwon cut off what Hoseok was going to say, “He’s saying things that shouldn’t be said, hurry up!” 

Hoseok was stunned, it was the first time he’d ever seen Hyungwon so panicked. He scrambled up and grabbed the phone, dialing their manager’s number. 

“What is he doing?!” Hoseok shouted at Hyungwon, waiting for the manager to pick up.

“He’s bad mouthing Changkyun! I’ll go to his practice room, that’s where he is!” The lanky boy tugged on his shoes, sprinting out the door. 

“Come on, pick up… Pick up…!” Hoseok sweated, biting on his lips. 

 

……

 

The room was deathly silent. 

Minhyuk grabbed on Jooheon’s hands tightly, wiping away his tears with a napkin. Hyungwon was staring at the rapper before them blankly, but the rest of them could see the barely concealed disgust. Hyunwoo had his head in his hands again, and Kihyun was behind him, patting on his back gently. 

“How could you….?” Jooheon sniffed, “I thought you aren’t someone like this…”

Gunhee looked up without emotion, “Like what? You tell me, Lee Jooheon! Like what? Don’t talk to me like you’re so good, you fucking bastard!” 

Jooheon recoiled, his tears stunned to a stop. 

“What do you mean…?”

“You know what I mean! You always look at me with pity, I bet you only became friends with me because you knew that with me by your side, you would look better, huh?!” 

“No, no… You couldn’t have thought that the entire time, could you…?” Jooheon reached out to touch Gunhee on the arm like he always did, only to be slapped away with a harsh hit. 

The angry rapper stood up, making Jooheon step backwards. Minhyuk shot up and stood in front of Gunhee, “Gunhee-ah, stop now! This isn’t you!” 

Gunhee clenched his mouth and swiped towards Minhyuk’s face. The blond didn’t have time to react, his face left with two red long marks, bleeding slightly. Kihyun stepped up quickly, pulling Minhyuk and Jooheon behind, letting them sit on the chairs in the back. 

“Are both of you alright?” Kihyun cooed quietly, touching Minhyuk’s face with one hand and kissing Jooheon’s eyelids. He reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and gently pressed it against the side of Minhyuk’s face. Kihyun studied the wound, sighing in relief that it won’t leave a scar. 

But just in case… “Hyunwoo-hyung, can I take Minhyukkie to a doctor? I want some anti-scar cream for his face.” 

Hyunwoo came over to study Minhyuk’s face, gently holding up his chin so that he could see clearly. He nodded silently, leaving a peck on Kihyun’s cheek.

Kihyun stood up, he took Minhyuk and Jooheon by the hand, taking them both out of the room. The three of them waved at the manager who rushed passed them when they walked down the hallway, Kihyun frowned but turned to console Jooheon with Minhyuk as they saw the tears welling up. 

Back inside, the door closed with a slam. The manager stood stunned at Hoseok, Hyungwon and Hyunwoo towering over the seated rapper. 

“Guys!” the man rushed up, “What are you doing?”

Hoseok turned with red rimmed eyes, “Hyung…!” 

Hyunwoo turned and slumped down on the chair, looking at Gunhee with extremely sad eyes. 

Only Hyungwon said something, “Hyung… I think this isn’t gonna work…” 

“What, what isn’t going to work. Speak to me!” The manager pleaded frustratedly. 

“Gunhee! Gunhee… Said that he’d been hurting Changkyun this entire time…” Hoseok sniffed, wiping away his tears fiercely. 

The man stared at Gunhee unbelievably, “What do mean hurt…? Gunhee, what did you do?!”

The rapper looked up lazily, sighed as if he was tired of having to explain it all again.

“I hit him, ok?! What’s the big deal, I threw a few punches and kicks in. Remember when that brat couldn’t make it to dance practice for a few days? Yeah that was me. Too bad, should’ve hurt him until he couldn’t dance, so that I wouldn’t have to see his disgusting face anymore! He sucks at dancing anyway!” Gunhee threw his hands up into the air without remorse. 

Hoseok sucked in a breath, he shook his head. Opened the door and left without a word. 

“Gunhee, this isn’t ending good for you.” The manager said emotionlessly, leaving as well.

Hyunwoo and Hyungwon were left inside the room with Gunhee. The three of them stared at each other, then Hyungwon sighed at patted Hyunwoo’s back, signaling for them to leave. Hyunwoo nodded, and then turned back to Gunhee again.

“Gunhee, goodbye.” 

The rapper looked up shocked as Hyunwoo followed Hyungwon out, closing the door with a soft thud. 

Empty save for himself in the room, Gunhee looked around. Stared at the white walls, the white plastic table and the white chair he was sitting on. And the realization seemed to finally dawn on him. 

Staring down at his hands, the boy didn’t move for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm just hurting everyone now huh  
> I'm sorry for such a long absence of updates!!!  
> but i hope this was an enjoyable chapter!!!
> 
> see ya on the next update and best wishes on your finals (if you have any, it's final season at our school, though i already finished all of mine lol)
> 
> Honeypotatoes


	5. Missing you

The thing was that the boys never realized how Changkyun was a constant in their lives. A silent constant, but a constant nonetheless. 

Kihyun missed the warm body that would press next to him when he cooked, a constant heat that would accompany him as he stood before the bubbling pot of soup. He missed the way Changkyun would whine lowly when he added carrots in the soup, because the boy never liked the orange vegetable. He missed the light on the boy’s eyes when he got the first taste of the meal, sneaking in a bite when no one else has yet arrived at the table. He missed the constant small but sturdy presence beside him, the wordless adoration that was thrown at him. 

Minhyuk missed the rare yells he would manage to incite from the usually quiet boy. He missed the way he could cuddle and tickle the small pliant body, pinching the soft tummy and warm cheeks. He missed the way the boy would yell out in surprise when he tackled him from behind or when he jumped on him, bringing them both down together. And he missed Changkyun the most when he really needed a hug but when he turned to find the boy, he wasn’t there with the signature exasperated sigh but the softness beneath his eyes to reveal what he really felt. 

Hyungwon missed the small hands that would comb his hair when he slept. He missed their occasional snuggles and nap times. He missed the boy’s warmth when he would go to his studio late at night, and even though Changkyun would greet him with a deadpan expression, he still knew that the boy would always leave a blanket on his small couch for him. He missed falling asleep to the deep voice that recorded guiding tracks, the echoing bass and low beats in the background that somehow felt the most like home. 

Hoseok missed the boy who would wander into his space with a confused pout and hands full of lyrics scribbled on wads of paper. He missed when Changkyun, the adorable baby wolf, would sit down in front of him asking for guidance on his music. Even though the two had different styles and would end up not studying music anyway, they would go out to have coffee together in the end. He missed their small adventures, missed seeing Changkyun’s disgusted faces at caffeine, but lighting up again when he got his hands and belly warm with cocoa. 

Hyunwoo missed the youngest the most when he is down and feels lost. Of course he misses he little quirks and odd timing of saying the most bizarre things, but he misses the soft brown eyes staring up at him silently but reassuringly. He misses the small hands patting his own comfortingly when his team lost and another trainee was eliminated, again. He misses the low voice that cracked jokes to make him feel better and stand on his feet again. He missed Changkyun, and missed him, and missed him. 

Jooheon missed his partner in crime and the one who would always stand in front of him protectively when they got in trouble, even though Changkyun was smaller in stature and younger than him. He missed when they would snicker jokes and comments under their breath when no one was hearing, he missed when Changkyun would pull him up and start sprinting when Kihyun chases after them with a broom because the vocalist did indeed hear their words. Jooheon misses when they would fall asleep dead in his studio when the two had too many late night inspirations too good not to write down and too many late night snacks. He missed him the most because he didn’t realize then, but does realize now, that Changkyun was always more like his best friend than Gunhee ever was. 

The group now torn apart with malicious words and painful blows from one member, was becoming more and more broken.

They would wake up in the morning, and suddenly realize that it was so much more quiet than before. Even though Changkyun didn’t talk much, there was always that warm energy and made their dorm heat up comfortably. Now, it just felt cold even if the heater was on full blast. 

They would go the company and sit around an oval table. Their schedule, if you would even call them schedules anymore, only consisted of meeting after meeting. Hyunwoo would stand in front of them, protecting them from the heartbreaking words that would travel back anyway. Kihyun would put his hand on the small of their leader’s back, silently supporting on their broken dreams. Minhyuk would kiss Jooheon’s forehead desperately everytime the rapper’s tears welled up after the CEO and the Management’s words. Hoseok and Hyungwon were the ones who always begged for a another chance, another day, another hour to find a solution. And then, they went home after being promised, “This is the last chance!”

Thus the cycle continued everyday.

Missing, missing and missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. I AM BACK. I'M SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE.  
> anyway, this was a short but important chapter!! hopefully this gives more context on why mx cares about changkyunnie so much.  
> hopefully this was an interesting upadte that was worth your time  
> see you next time!!!
> 
> also please come scream with me on twitter!! let's exchange ideas and squeal over mx's cuteness  
> @heonypotatoes


	6. Going back? Yeah right.

“Don’t cry, Minhyuk-ah… We’ll find him…” Kihyun pulled the sniffing blond into his chest, “Don’t cry…”

It’s been four days since the group has been trying to find the youngest rapper.

The members took turns going out to find Changkyun when they had their breaks, all while avoiding Gunhee who is now being held at another dorm like the plague. But their search had always ended with them coming back the dorm late at night, exhausted and needing comfort for their failures. 

Today it was Minhyuk’s turn, and Kihyun was trying his best to sooth the boy even though he was on the verge of tears as well. The two sat on Minhyuk’s bed, the blond hugging a huge stuffed wolf pup to his chest. 

“I can’t find him, our Kkukkuggie! Where is he, Kihyunnie, where is he?!” 

The main vocal pressed small kisses on the crying boy’s face, on his eyelids, on his nose, on his cheeks. Kihyun’s own eyes were brimming with tears, and he shuddered as he talked, “We’ll find him soon, don’t worry... “

“I want him back, I want to cuddle him so badly… I miss his chubby cheeks so much…”

“I do too, I do too…”

Kihyun gently pushed the blond down, he peppered more kisses and combed his hands through the light colored hair. 

“Now, I need you to sleep, Minhyuk-ah… Rest well, and I’ll go find him with Jooheon tomorrow morning.” 

Minhyuk sniffed, holding his arms out. Kihyun looked shockingly at the blond, Minhyuk never asked to sleep with him. 

“Are-are you sure…? I can go get Jooheon if you want?” 

“No… I want you…” Minhyuk shook his hand fervently, pulling the small vocal down and latching on him like an octopus.

Kihyun returned the hug slowly, putting his hands around Minhyuk’s neck. 

……

“Hyung, hyung wake up!” 

Kihyun stirred, rubbing his eyes. He stared up blearily at Jooheon’s excited face, groaning.  
“Oh… What time is it Jooheon-ah?”

“It’s only 7 in the morning, but that doesn’t matter! Get up hyung, come on!” the boy yelled quietly.

Kihyun groaned again, he untangled his limbs carefully from Minhyuk’s. Shoving a stuffie in the skinny arms when he heard Minhyuk whine lowly. Kihyun rolled out of bed, and was pulled out the bedroom by Jooheon’s fingers around his hand.

As they stepped out, Kihyun asked, “What is it, Jooheonie? It’s still early, we don’t have any practices today…”

“Kihyun-hyung, I might know where Changkyun is!” 

Kihyun widened his eyes, but then his hopes dimmed down immediately.

“I don’t want to shoot you down, but are you sure? I don’t want to come back and-”

He was cut off, “No! Hyung, I’m almost positive! I suddenly remembered! Changkyunnie said he goes there often when he feels off.” 

Kihyun sighed, but he grabbed Jooheon’s jacket and put it on him. He took a deep breath, praying that his heart doesn’t crack more than it has already.

“Alright then, what are you waiting for? Lead the way!”

Puffs of white air came out of their mouths as they ran and Kihyun couldn’t tell where they were. He looked around the area and frowned, it was a rowdy neighborhood with grey walls and black streets. Jooheon skidded to a stop, holding onto Kihyun as the smaller man almost fell over in surprise.

“Hah, hah, hah… Wh-where are we, Jooheon-ah?” 

“W-we’re here, it’s the place that Changkyun showed me once. He told me this is where he comes when he feels off.” 

The two were standing in front of a internet cafe. 

“An internet cafe? Why?”

“I don’t know, he always told me that this place helped him once, no more…” 

The two walked in the grimy place cautiously, coughing a little from the smoke. Looking around frantically, they spotted Changkyun on a black couch. Striding over quickly, Jooheon shook the boy awake. Changkyun flinched awake, he widened his eyes at the sight of his hyungs. The younger rapper scrambled up and ran outside the door. With shocked expressions, Kihyun and Jooheon followed out in a hurry. Kihyun, who was surprisingly a fast runner, grabbed Changkyun and pulled both of his dongsaengs in an alleyway. 

“Hyung, let. Me. Go!” Changkyun struggled against the hold. 

The boy wiggled, kicking the air until he felt cool drops on his shoulder. Changkyun froze, hearing the small sniffs and ugly sobs that seemed to tear itself out of the person’s chest. They boy turned his head, then his arms waved around frantically. 

It was the first time Changkyun saw Kihyun cry. 

“Ch-Changkyunnie… How could you…” 

Kihyun loosened his arms, all the stress and emotions bottled up suddenly burst out as he saw Changkyun safe. He crumpled to the ground as Jooheon and Changkyun shot their arms out to catch their hyung. 

“Why did you leave, did you know how worried we were for you?!” Kihyun clawed on Changkyun’s chest, bunching up the thin fabric. He sobbing harder, coughing now. 

Changkyun teared up, he didn’t realize how his actions would make such a big impact. He kneeled in front of Kihyun, salty liquid running down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry!” he bawled, clinging onto Kihyun for the first time in days.

The eldest of the three wiped away his own tears with his sleeve harshly, he took in Changkyun’s state. His heart clenched when he saw that his dongsaeng’s cheeks had become hollow, dark circles under his eyes. Keening lowly, Kihyun hugged Changkyun tightly but feeling the ribs on the side of his body.

He took off his jacket quickly and ignoring Changkyun’s protests, forced the boy to put on the parka. Kihyun teared up again, patting the youngest’s head and choking out, “No, I’m sorry! We didn’t realize.... Would you come back? Let us make it up to you?” 

Changkyun frowned, as much as he loved his hyungs, he couldn’t go back to that place. Not if he was there, no. He shook his head, his eyes downcast. 

“No, I’m sorry… I can’t go back, not if-”

Jooheon scrambled to speak up, “Gunhee isn’t there anymore!”

“What?” Changkyun looked up shocked. 

“We found out and we couldn’t tolerate that. We kicked him out, he’s no longer there, or in the group… If there is even a group left…” Jooheon said the last part quietly, and Kihyun hung his head low at that. 

It’s true, after Gunhee was forcibly removed, the company was scrambling to cover up the impending scandal from his live. All the members weren’t even sure they were still going to debut with all the problems.

“What do you mean…?” 

“That’s nothing, don’t worry yourself about that.” Kihyun said quickly, “We’ll somehow figure it out.” 

“Is it because of me…?” 

“No! Of course not, if we were to say who was at blame, it would be us and Gunhee. We didn’t even realize he was hurting you, even though you were right beside us the entire time…”

The three were silent, until Changkyun spoke up. 

“I think none of us are at fault here, except for Gunhee. I don’t even know why he did those things to me… But now that he’s- yeah, can we go back first? I don’t want to be here anymore...” 

Kihyun nodded, pulling both boys up from the ground with shaky legs. 

“Yes, let’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be very honest.   
> This was a hard chapter for me to write. I have no motivation, at all. I just get home from school, I lie in bed and just do nothing. I do my homework in wee hours of the morning and my sleep in suffering because I just can't not do my homework and its a viscous cycle. All I do is go on twitter and yell and scream at MX to release frustration from real life and it's doing me no good.  
> And my parents are being complete.... I'm so done, let me do what I want with my life. Don't decide everything for me, if I wanna go to this university let me go. Now it's too late, the offer expired and now they tell me "Oh, it's your life. We're letting you choose now." Choose, pfft yeah right, when it's too fucking late.  
> ..........  
> Anyway I'm sorry for the rant, I needed somewhere to write this down.  
> Honestly I'm so done.   
> The next chapter is probably going to be even more late.   
> Sorry guys.   
> I love you all... QAQ bare with meeee


	7. Impending and looming over

To say Minhyuk and Hoseok broke down crying when they saw the maknae was an understatement. They full out bawled until Changkyun rushed up and hugged them both tightly and cried with them. 

Hyunwoo ushered all of them in the dorm, but not without placing a long kiss on the maknae’s forehead. 

They all sat around the living room, staring at each other. Somehow even though Gunhee wasn’t there, no one felt as if someone was missing. 

Kihyun looked around the room, taking in everyone’s faces. He sighed when he noticed the slightly uncomfortable look on Changkyun’s face. 

“Changkyun-ah.” 

“Yes, hyung?” Came the soft reply. 

“Is there anything you want to do?” Kihyun walked over and sat down beside him.

Changkyun stared at the vocal’s face, his mouth moved but no sound came out. He reached out his hand tentatively and hovered over Kihyun’s fingers. The elder nodded with a smile and grabbed the maknae’s hand tightly in his own, making Changkyun smile slightly. The boy slowly placed his chin on Kihyun’s shoulder, sighing pleasantly when he smelt the familiar shampoo. 

Minhyuk jumped up and sat behind Changkyun, hugging both of them gently. It wasn’t long before everyone huddled together and the faint buzzing of the heater floated over them. Changkyun looked up from Kihyun’s chest, he lightly caressed the smooth skin on Kihyun’s cheek. So soft was the touch, as if he thought the vocal would disappear the next second. Kihyun felt like crying, again. He returned the touch, holding onto the smaller boy tightly. He peppered kisses all over the face, nuzzling into the warm body. 

Changkyun let himself be squished in the embrace. It was odd, that after all the things he went through he was a little afraid of other people, but it seems like it’s fine as long as it’s hyungs who touch him. He felt so warm, so safe, so cherished, tucked so carefully in their cuddle pile. He sighed, closing his eyes. 

…....

It was a few days later, currently their schedules were filled with nothing but the meetings that had dimmed to having one once a few days once the company had found out that Changkyun came back. 

The boys had spent the last few days cuddling in the dorm, only leaving to go to the bathroom and to eat as if to make up for lost time. 

Nothing was really discussed during those days. No one wanted to bring up memories of bad days, choosing to run away from the topic for as long as they could. 

So the days were lazy.

It was on a warm afternoon that the boys sat up from their usual nap and cuddle session, some of them propping up others and some managing to sit on their own. All of them had discheved, crazy hair and most of them were yawning into their palms. 

Jooheon was holding Changkyun up with some difficulty because both of them would rather be asleep than awake. Minhyuk and Hoseok continued bothering Hyungwon with kisses and cooes, patting the soft hair once in a while to keep the lanky boy awake. Kihyun was settled comfortably in Hyunwoo’s lap, his head leaned back on the broad chest and his eyes barely open. 

“Ugh…” Hyungwon groaned lowly, finally starting to gain conciousness. 

The boys were too comfy and drowsy to move, all feeling too lazy to even move a finger. But then the phone rang with shrill sound cutting the comfortable silence. Kihyun groaned, burying his face in his hands, a little annoyed. Hyunwoo patted his head and pushed the small member off his lap gently, earning a tired swat. 

The large member picked up the phone, putting his other hand on his hips. 

“Hello?”

“Hyunwoo-ah?” One of the manager’s, Seongchan, worried voice came through, “Are you all at the dorm?”

“We’re all here. We just woke up from a nap, is everything ok?” Hyunwoo looked at Changkyun whose head is lolled back onto Jooheon’s shoulder again, soft breaths coming out of his mouth. 

“Well, we decided what to do with Gunhee… Could you guys come by the main office in the Management Department in about… two hours?” 

Hyunwoo was silent, his face downcast. Internally he was conflicted, he was happy for Changkyun and honestly? for all of them, that Gunhee was probably going to be punished, but he was also sad that one of his dongsaengs that was in Nu-boyz with him is being handed a verdict.

“Hyunwoo?”

“Oh! Yes, yes of course, we’ll go. Do you want Changkyun to go as well?” 

“Yes, the higher-ups want him there as well. But if he's not feeling well or anything, he can choose not to come. Me and Hyunsik will explain to them.” Seongchan said kindly. 

“Alright, I’ll tell him. We’ll see you later, hyung?”

“See you later,” the manager said softly with a click signalling the end of the call. 

Hyunwoo padded back to the group with half of the members already dead to world. He plopped down beside Kihyun and pulled the boy gently on his lap, waking him from his light slumber. He combed the soft hair and hugged Kihyun tightly, relishing in the touch and warmth.

“Who was on the phone, hyung?” Kihyun mumbled groggily.

“Seongchan-hyung. He wants us at the company building in two hours, he said that Gunhee’s whereabouts is decided.” 

Kihyun sat up, “It is?” 

Minhyuk came over with wide eyes, “What are they going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Hyunwoo replied, tugging down the boy to sit beside, “all he said was that we have to be at the main building in two hours, and the higher ups want Changkyun to come as well. But Seongchan-hyung said that if Changkyun is feeling it, it’s fine if he doesn’t go.” 

“I want to go.”

Changkyun sat up straight, the sleepiness blinked away. He wasn’t a deep sleeper anyway.

“Are you sure? It’s ok if you’re not feeli-” Minhyuk started.

“I’m sure. I want to know what is happening.”

Changkyun said, his voice trailing off. He looked at his hands, silently gripping on his pants. Jooheon tugged the boy on his lap, pressing soft kisses on the pale neck. 

“If you want to go, then go. But I assume Gunhee is going to be there, if you feel uncomfortable at any point and time, I want you to tell me or anyone else. Is that ok?” Hyunwoo said, his eyes kind but firm.

Changkyun nodded, he took a deep breath to sooth his emotions. 

Kihyun stood up, “Since we have two hours, why don’t the people who are sleepy go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when there’s half an hour left.” 

Hyungwon groaned in gratitude, plopping back down on the carpet with a sigh. The lanky member reached over and grabbed Changkyun, pulling him into a cuddle. Changkyun struggled for a while, but his resolve waivered when he was engulfed in warmth. He stilled and with a relaxed posture, returned the hug and snuggled deeper into Hyungwon’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo  
> SO, things are finally starting to pick up the pace! the next few chapters will be filled with suspence! (or, i'll try to make them suspence-full)  
> anyway, hope this was a more cheerful chapter and I hope this was enjoyable!
> 
> a small update of my life and why am i so late to this update:   
> I got into the university I wanted!!! yayyyyyy XDDDDDD  
> so i'm moving to Toronto! the city of my dreamssss  
> thank you for the nice comments on the chapter before! i love you all!!!


	8. the silence before the storm

Changkyun trailed behind the group, a few steps slower. His hood was pulled up on his head, covering his face. 

His hair was too long, the fringes swaying near his eyes. Changkyun licked his lips in nervousness, feeling the dried cracked skin drag with his tongue. 

The white lights were bright and harsh on the boy’s body, making him blink his watery eyes once in a while. He breathed shallowly, in and out, in and out.

The group stopped and Changkyun who was behind Hyungwon crashed into the lanky figure. The tallest turned, his eyes filled with concern.

“You know you can back out of the meeting anytime right?” Hyungwon said softly, holding onto the fingertips that was peeking a little out of Changkyun’s oversized hoodie.

The youngest nodded, licking his lips again. 

Hyunwoo walked up towards Changkyun and gently pulled him to the side, careful and watchful eyes watched as they scooted near a wall.

“Changkyun-ah, is there something in particular you want? I assume Gunhee is in there, as well as the higher-ups, I’ll make sure to let them know your wishes.” Hyunwoo said in a sad but warm tone. 

Changkyun was honestly feeling just a little annoyed at how his hyungs coddled him so much. But everytime he remembered Kihyun’s tears, Minhyuk and Hoseok’s choked up babbles, Jooheon and Hyungwon’s tight hugs and Hyunwoo brushing his hair back every night when he thought Changkyun was asleep, he couldn’t be mad anymore. 

He’d rather have the affection than nothing. 

Swallowing the saliva that accumulated in his mouth, Changkyun whispered as Hyunwoo strained to hear. 

“Could, could someone hold my hand during the meeting?” 

Hyunwoo blinked in surprise, “Is that all?”

Changkyun nodded, “Also, as much as I can not and will not forgive Gunhee for what he did to me, to all of you, I don’t want his out come to have a too much impact on your debut and the company.”

The man nodded numbly, he couldn’t resist himself and pulled the small boy in his arms. He buried his head in the soft mop of hair, whispering, “You’re too kind for your own good... “

The pair stayed like that for a while until Hyunwoo released Changkyun, he smoothed down the black hair and thumbed the soft cheeks. They walked back to the group who was chattering softly amongst themselves. 

Hoseok walked up and pulled Chnakyun into a hug, “You ready, pup?” 

The youngest nodded, and as Hoseok released him, he held onto the pale hands with a firm grip. The group looked at Hyunwoo who nodded and opened the door, the white slab of wood swinging wide. 

It was honestly a little anti-clamatic.

You know how in the movies whenever people open the door for something bad, there’s always just that odd feeling? Like maybe it’s because of the music in the background, or maybe it’s just the camera work. But the scene is always so solemn, always so silent, like something big was gonna happen.

But when Changkyun shuffled into the room, holding Hoseok’s hand, there was nothing that was different. He just walked in, looked at the papers on the table, found his seat and pulled Hoseok down with him. 

He didn’t feel really nervous as well, which was odd since his heart was thumping loudly before they got the company. He could feel the hyungs’ eyes on him, some with worry, some with sadness, and some with relief. Changkyun sighed, causing Minhyuk’s head to snap back. 

“You ok, Changkyunnie?”

Changkyun jumped, “Yeah! Um, yeah, just a little restless, I guess.”

Minhyuk scooted closer on his wheeled chair and pressed a kiss on the pale cheeks, “You’ll be fine, we’ll all be here with you.” 

Changkyun smiled and leaned forward to whisper, “And I’ll be with you. Don’t you worry about me, you’re shaking." 

The elder looked ahead in surprise, he coud feel Changkyun hold his hand. He didn’t even notice that he was shaking, feeling the warmth, he smiled dopily at the boy. The three sat in that corner together, whispering words to each other. 

Kihyun flipped through the pages on the table, the shuffling of papers loud and quiet at the same time. He rubbed his forehead in exasperation as he skimmed through the words, not sure what to think. 

He sighed again.  
“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jooheon.

Kihyun looked from under his lashes, his dongsaeng’s concerned face coming into view. He ruffled the fluffy hair, earning a cute swat of annoyance. 

“Nothing.” 

Jooheon rested his face in his elbows on the table, peering up, “Yeah?” 

The two were silent, Kihyun flipping through the pages again as Jooheon stared. 

“No.” 

Kihyun sighed, combing his hair back in frustration. 

“Nothing is ok.”

“Why?” Jooheon mumbled from under his arms.

“I don’t know what to feel, the papers say tha-” 

The door opened as it slammed against the stopper, cutting Kihyun off. People the members recognized and the members didn’t recognize filled the space up. Kihyun nodded at their managers, them giving a small subtle wave back. 

Hyunwoo watched as the staff sat down on the opposite side, none of the people except for their managers were looking at them. He leaned back on his chair, his arms crossed across his shoulders. Hyungwon was beside him, an unamused and even slightly disappointed expression on his face.

No one said anything.

Changkyun stared at the man, no actually, boy in front of him. Taking in the sloppy and wrinkled clothes, the droopy eyes and the greasy hair. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling at the moment, he should feel happy seeing that Gunhee was such a mess. But he ony felt pity and sadness for the boy in front of him. 

He propped his head on his wrist, staring straight ahead as if daring the person in front of him to look at him in the eyes. His other hand was tapping on the table, creating a small drumming sound. 

The silence was suffocating. 

A person down the table coughed, garnering attention from everyone.

“So, I assume everyone knows what we’re here for, thus I will not be explaining the situation.” 

Changkyun looked at his nametag, someone from the Managing Departement. Judging that he was first to talk and his suit, Changkyun would say that he was probably someone with some power or control. 

“Song Gunhee or #Gun, has made some mistakes-”

Hyungwon laughed under his breath, “Some mistakes.”

With a fake cough into his fist, the man continued, " Anyway, we have come to an agreement on the punishments that would be laid for him.”

Changkyun watched on silently as the boy in front of him heaved a heavy breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a new chapter for you all! Thank you for being so patient with my updates!
> 
> So things are moving and plot is speeding up! Hopefully this will quench the thrist for a little while until the next chapter! I tried making Gunhee a little weaker this time, did I go overboard... oops
> 
> anyway, i wish this was a good read and good luck on your day or good night depending where you are! 
> 
> Honeypotatoes


	9. Unprofessional Profesionalism

To the group’s dismay, the man didn’t detail the facts that they wanted to hear the most. 

Minhyuk and Jooheon were starting to get a little impatient as the man continued on with his speech of the benefits and the good of the company. Kihyun who was sitting behind them placed calming hands around their waists to settle them down. 

“How long is he going to go on with this nonsense?" Hoseok whispered to Hyunwoo’s ear behind his hand as he leaned a little over. 

Hyunwoo only sighed and gave a small pat on the younger’s shoulder as a reply.

“As I was saying, Starship does not tolerate bullying at all, and this incident was completely out of our control. We had no knowledge that this was going on, and we only wish for the best possible solution to make everyone happy,” The man spoke with vigor. 

“Get to the point.” A cold voice sounded from the back of the room, everyone’s head turned to the source. 

It was a man in a sleek black suit and a smooth black tie, and it seems that everyone except for the boys recognized him. The room seemed to have dropped a few degrees just by his voice and the man who was talking up front shivered visibly. 

He stuttered, “Y-yes, of course… So, um. I’ll let Kwangmin here talk about the next steps…”

The woman named Kwangmin stood up, and strided to the front.

Coughing into her hand, she gulped. “Song Gunhee, former member of the upcoming debut line, will be taken out the group. His trainee status will be restored temporarily until further notice and decisions.Some future plans for Song Gunhee have been written in the pages before you, and most of them are final.”

Changkyun looked down quickly on his lap. Trainee? They weren’t going to fire him? He could hear Minhyuk’s shocked gasp and he could see Hyunwoo’s hand tighten into a fist beside him. 

The managers seemed shocked too. 

Seongchan sat stunned in his chair, unmoving. Hyunsik jumped in his chair, standing up with his hands slammed on the table.

“This is not what you promised us before! You said you would-”

Hyunsik’s words choked in his throat, his eyebrows scrunched together then he plopped back down on his chair with an audible angry huff. 

The man in the back seemed strangely satisfied with his weird smile, he stood up without a word and left. The other staff members shuffled out in silence, their laptops clutched tightly in their hands. 

The managers rushed out of the room, no doubt but to argue with the Management team. 

Changkyun can’t say that he wasn’t expecting this outcome deep down, but he had lied and pretended to himself that the company wouldn’t be that cruel to him. But of course, before humanity and morals, Starship will always prioritize money. 

He sighed, and then looked up to the boy sitting in front of him again. Gunhee had a blank face, and Changkyun couldn’t tell if he was too shocked or that he was happy but hiding it behind a poker face. 

Kihyun gave Minhyuk and Jooheon a soothing glance, seeing as they were trying their best to not get agitated. The main vocal cleared his throat, the sound louder than usual in a quiet room. 

“Hyungwon-ah, “ the lanky boy’s head shot up at the call of his name, “why don’t you bring Minhyukkie and Jooheonie back to the dorm? I left some kimbap on the table, have some if you guys get hungry.” 

Hyungwon stood up, grabbing the boys hands and walking out the door, closing it with a soft click behind him. 

Kihyun sat back down, turned towards the table as he flipped through the pages again. He sighed, and circled the most important part then threw it to Gunhee’s direction. 

“Look at this, Gunhee. I imagine you would want to know.” 

Before the man could reach, Wonho snatched the pages away, though not before giving Gunhee a glare. Reading the encircled text carefully, he huffed in anger when he reached the last word. 

“I see how it is, read for yourself.” Hoseok slide the file down the table. 

Under hard eyes, Gunhee reached for the pages. He skimmed through and smiled. “Seems like the company isn’t heartless after all, after all that non-acting I had to do for No. Mercy.” 

“You-!” Hoseok was stunned, this wasn’t the person he knew. Honestly he had been half expecting that this was all a stunt and that Gunhee was faking it, but today seems like the day Hoseok would wake up. 

Changkyun was silent throughout this whole exchange, he wordlessly grabbed a another booklet and read through the pages. He carefully read every word, processing every letter in his head. 

“So, Chankyunnie. What do you think? Hm?”   
Changkyun flinched at the voice, he looked up in fear even though he knew that Gunhee couldn’t do anything to him now. 

“Don’t call me that.” 

The rapper across him grinned, “Sorry, Changkyunnie~ Oh, I mean, I.M?” 

Changkyun stayed silent through the sharp jab. 

"What do you think? Now that I wouldn’t even get kicked out of the company? I’ll even get to debut solo! No punishment and you won’t even get to debut in the end!” 

Gunhee laughed with his head thrown back, his previous image of garnering pitiness gone like it never existed. 

"It’s perfect is it not? Loser?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii I'm back, and I'm sorry for such a short update, i just really wanted to get back on track  
> This has been a while and university has been a whirlwind!   
> But hey! I have some time on my hands currently and hopefully I'll be able to update soon again! 
> 
> No, this fic has not been abandonned, I love Changkyun too much to leave it here XD


	10. Continuing Avoidance

“Hyungs!” Changkyun jogged up, his voice raspy and hard to hear from panting “Hyungs! Wait!” 

The older three was too immersed in their conversation that they speed up unconsciously, making it hard for Changkyun to catch up with his old wound. 

“Hyungs, wait…” Changkyun slowed, putting his hand on his ankle in hopes of soothing it. 

Maybe from the adrenaline from before, once he slowed down, his ankle hurt even more. Wincing, he stopped and bent down to inspect his foot. It had become swollen. Touching the swelled flesh gingerly, he accidently fell over and yelled out in pain. 

When Hoseok heard the yell, he swirled around immediately. 

“Changkyun!” 

Rushing over, he craddled the younger in his arms. 

“What’s wrong?!” Kihyun wiped the sweat away from Changkyun’s brow, “Are you hurt? Where?” 

Hyunwoo didn’t say a thing, but he inspected the boy from head to toe. Then he noticed the way Changkyun was unconsiously elevating his right foot. Kneeling down, Hyunwoo lifted the foot gently, cooing when Changkyun let out a whine. He rolled up the cuff of the baggy sweatpants gingerly, frowning as the red skin stood out starkly with his pale calf. 

Kihyun gasped quietly, “How did this happen?” 

“I-I just fell…” 

Techically he wasn't lying... He really did just fall to cause it to swell up... It's just that his foot never really healed up from before.

Hoseok glared at the blatant lie, “Tell us the truth, Changkyunie.” 

“We can have this conversation later. Let’s get him back to the dorm, put some ice on his ankle. We’ll observe if he needs to go the doctor or not.” Hyunwoo murmured, taking Changkyun from Hoseok. 

The oldest of the group shuffled the youngest into his arms, and stood up carrying him princess style. 

“I can walk! Hyung…” Changkyun whined, his face red from embarassment. 

“Like hell you can walk! Come on, let’s get back.” Hoseok huffed, patting the maknae’s hair. 

To say that the rest of the group swarmed Changkyun when they got back was an understatement. 

Minhyuk cooed at the small boy in endearment first before realizing something was wrong. 

He saw Changkyun’s swollen ankle and pouted sadly, “Oh dear, Hyungwon-ah, go get some ice will you?” 

Hyungwon nodded and ran off. 

Hyunwoo set Changkyun down on the couch gently, “Does it hurt a lot? Do you need some painkillers?" 

Changkyun shook his head, “It isn’t too painful when I don’t walk that much.”

He watched as Hoseok kneeled down and picked up his foot. He kneaded the flesh very lightly, almost only poking Changkyun’s ankle. 

The youngest hissed, “Hyung…!” 

“I know, I know. I’m just checking if it’s a sprain or a fracture. It seems like it’s only a sprain, it should heal up fine if you don’t put too much stress on it.” 

Everyone settled down in the living room after making sure that Changkyun was well. 

Minhyuk was sprawled across the armchair, how he was able to still hold Hyungwon in his embrace was a mystery, but they somehow made it work. Hyunwoo and Hoseok were cuddled together, Hoseok’s head on Hyunwoo’s lap. Jooheon had snuggled up against Changkyun’s side, taking care not to put pressure on his leg. Kihyun came back with multiple pillows and blankets, and after handing them out, he went and curled up on the second armchair. 

No one seemed to want to start the conversation that they needed. 

An audible sigh came from Kihyun, “I guess I’ll fill you guys in.“ He said to the three who left the meeting early. 

“Gunhee, is not fired. As you know.” Kihyun started, “He’s given back his trainee status.”

“We know that already,” Hyungwon tilted his head in question. 

“Yes, but there’s more. Gunhee, he…” Kihyun sighed again, “He’s going to debut solo.” 

Silence. 

Jooheon looked unbelievably at Kihyun, his eyes wide. Hyungwon closed his eyes and buried his face in Minhyuk’s neck. 

Minhyuk on the other hand, seemed ready to fight. 

“How dare they!” 

Hyungwon jumped from Minhyuk’s sudden shout, looking into his face with shock. 

“Sorry, Hyungwonnie… But how could they do this?!” He rubbed his eyes in frustration, “Is it decided?” 

“Basically, according to what they said." Hoseok said sadly. 

Multiple sighs could be heard, and Changkyun didn’t know what to say at the moment. He wrung his hands in the hem of his sweater, his knuckles becoming white with stress. He shuffled on his seat uncomfortably, hissing when he moved his foot. 

Jooheon perked up and settled a soothing hand on Changkyun’s thigh to stop his movements. 

“You still didn’t tell us what happened to your foot.” Jooheon said. 

“I just fell.” Repeating what he said before. 

"You couldn’t have just fell to sprain your ankle like that. Tell us what really happened.” Hoseok frowned. 

Great. Now I’ve pissed him off. Changkyun gnawed his lips in distress. 

Jooheon continued rubbing his hands on his thigh, and as if reading his mind, he said, “He’s not angry, just worried.” 

Hoseok widened his eyes, he nodded in guilt. 

"I'm sorry, Changkyunnie... I'm just anxious..." 

The youngest sighed in relief, but then when he thought of Hoseok's worry, he felt guilty for causing him distress. 

Changkyun thought of the last time Gunhee hurt him weeks ago before he got caught. He thought of how Gunhee pushed him down and slammed him on the hard wooden floor of the dancing studio. How his ankle in attempt to support his weight, bent the wrong way. And how he was limping all the way back to his personal studio to rub some ointment in. 

His foot never really healed up, and he didn’t understand why. And somehow it just flared up moments ago, rendering him slow. 

“I-I,” Changkyun gulped, he really wanted to tell them everything. But they were already so stressed, and this would just add on to their already burdened shoulders. 

“I really, just fell…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!! Here's a new chapter for your day!!  
> Wish that everythings amazing so far or that it's going to be amazing!!  
> Hopefully this was an interesting chapter and I'll be back soon!! 
> 
> PS this chapter was posted only because Minhyuk posted a vlog so y'all better thank our lord and savior Lee Minnie
> 
> Honeypotatoes


	11. Gentle lies

Changkyun was put on bedrest for a while in the dorms. And for the first time, he wasn’t scared that Gunhee would get him while he was in there. 

He felt bored, but as soon as he sat up there would always be someone’s gentle but firm hands pushing him back down with a stern pout. And Changkyun always couldn’t deny those faces of concern, thus he layed back down sulkily everytime. 

However, thankfully, his hyungs would always find some way to entertain him so he wouldn’t die out of complete boredom after he told them of how he was feeling. 

Minhyuk would show him what the fans would create on twitter, and the both of them would always laugh out loud when they came across a perfectly timed screenshot of Hyungwon on a show. 

Kihyun seemed to treat the maknae as his personal guinea pig when he’s making food. But Changkyun knew deep down that Kihyun was just trying to nurse him back to health with soups and porridge. 

Jooheon would share his latest aegyo with him, and Changkyun would always crinkle his brows in distaste at the perfect times. Waving his hands in rejection which would lead to Jooheon just amping up the cringeness. 

Hoseok would carry Hyungwon who was drowsy after their practices and the both of them would snuggle up on the two sides of Changkyun. And the three of them would take naps under the setting sun that sprinkled golden flecks through the windows. 

Hyunwoo seemed the one who wouldn’t spend much time with Changkyun when he was awake. But Changkyun knew who was the person to come near his bed and check on him while he slept.

Changkyun really felt blessed, and it was a really good feeling from all the pain from before that he could ignore is twisted ankle. 

Speaking of his ankle, no one seemed to want to question him of the circumstances anymore. Everyone seemingly knowing who was at fault and not wanting to bring up the perpetrator in question. 

No one brought up the name of Song Gunhee. 

And no one seemed to have the heart to remind Changkyun that Song Gunhee was actually closer than he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally just finished my last final like two hour ago, and within this timespan i typed up this chap  
> which explains why its so short, but i wante to write so.....  
> anyway hope this was enjoyable and i should be updating sooner since im on break now!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back! 
> 
> This is the Changkyun centered fic that I promised a while ago at the end of Hidden  
> It's late I know, but at least it's here?
> 
> Anyway, hopefully this was an enjoyable read and hope y'all have a good day or night whereever you are!   
> See you on the next update!
> 
> Honeypotatoes


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